


The Consolation of Sebastian

by ContreParry



Series: A gift of Knowledge and Love [2]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 21:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4935805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ContreParry/pseuds/ContreParry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fenris needs advice of a personal nature, so he turns to a friend who will never spill his secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Consolation of Sebastian

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a lame play on The Consolation of Philosophy, written by the philosopher Boethius in the sixth-century. It was a highly influential piece that had great influence over Christian philosophy in the Middle Ages and early Renaissance. It also incorporated the literary device of the dream vision. It's actually much cooler than I'm making it sound, I promise!

Fenris found the atmosphere within the Chantry stifling. It was supposed to be a place of peace, but Fenris could only remember the violent acts that took place within those walls. The murder of the Viscount's son happened up there on the landing, or at least his body was placed there. The subsequent death of Mother Petrice to right the balance occurred by those steps. The killing of Anders's Tranquil lover in an act of mercy also stained this hall. There was little peace to be found here, even in the quiet moments between the recitations of the Chant.  


Fenris shifted uneasily on his feet as he passed the spot where Anders's friend.... lover... Karl was killed. It would only be fair, he reasoned, to pay some sort of respect to the man, or to the memory of what he once was. Even dead and gone so many years, Fenris could tell how much Anders loved Karl, and Fenris was learning to appreciate Karl's role in making Anders the person he now cared for.  


“I hope you found peace.” He murmured at the spot, hoping his words were enough tribute to a long gone soul. Perhaps he would someday bring flowers. Anders had trouble even looking at the Chantry now, and Fenris thought he might appreciate the gesture. The thought of bringing a smile to Anders's perpetually exhausted face pleased Fenris, and he resolved to leave a more fitting tribute to Anders's first love than just words the next time he came here.  


“Fenris?” The question came from a low voice behind him and to the left, the thick accent indicating the speaker was Sebastian. Fenris turned to face his friend. It was not a surprise to encounter him here. Fenris knew Sebastian usually ministered to the Ferelden migrants in the mornings when he wasn't with Hawke, so he would be free in the afternoons. Fenris also knew that Hawke was venturing out to the Bone Pit with Aveline, Varric, and Anders today. It was extremely likely Sebastian would be here, and it was why he bothered to come to the Chantry in the first place. But now, standing in the low candlelight with the scent of incense and the drone of the Chant in his ears, Fenris was beginning to have doubts.  


“I thought it was you! Is something the matter? Did Hawke send you?” Sebastian glanced over at a group of Chantry Sisters who were glaring at them both, and Fenris recalled the Chantry's less than welcoming stance on members of Hawke's circle. It seemed Hawke's rise to nobility, her elven lover, her disreputable companions, and tendency to spread chaos was not appreciated by the Chantry. Fenris returned his attention to Sebastian, who seemed over-eager to escape the combined glares of the older women.  


“No.” Fenris stated firmly. “I wanted to... talk.”  


“Talk? Why don't we go for a walk in the garden? You can speak to me there.” Sebastian suggested, hurriedly leading Fenris out through a side door and into the sunshine, leaving gossiping Chantry Sisters and bad memories behind.  


It was a small walled garden, Fenris noted as they walked, one that he had never bothered to walk through before. Perhaps it was private, he thought, something only Chantry members could enjoy. It was filled with bird chatter and plants that Anders would no doubt know. He could list the varied uses of each plant as well, perhaps even how to care for them and where they grew best and in what season. Fenris found Anders to be well-versed in such matters, and Anders picked up on Fenris's need for knowledge to fill the gaping holes in his memory. He was happy to chatter, and Fenris content to listen.  


Yet he wanted to do more than just listen now. Fenris stopped by a small fountain in the center of the garden, the stone basin full of bubbling clear, cool water. Last night, the mage visited him and they picked through Varric's book Hard in Hightown. Fenris struggled through every word, but Anders was a strong warmth at his back as they read together, his soft breath ruffling Fenris's hair as he read the part of Captain Belladonna of the Dragon's Jewels, complete with his impersonation of Isabela's throaty laugh and drawl. Fenris had turned then to comment on Anders's unusual gift at imitation and met that warm gaze of sunlight through honey. He forgot all words in his surge of wanting. All he wanted was to please this man, and it wasn't enough that they sat together, that they talked, that Anders shared his knowledge and laughter because Fenris wanted more. He wanted more and he would always want more, but before Fenris was afraid to want too much when it was so dangerous to want at all.  


Fenris was no longer afraid of wanting, but now he had other fears.  


“It is... complicated.” Fenris began, his voice calm though his mind told him that he was a fool for daring to ask such stupid questions. He dipped his fingers into the fountain, trailing them in the water and marveling at the coolness on his markings. “I do not know where to begin.”  


“Wherever you feel you need to begin.” Sebastian replied, an easy smile on his face. He sat on a stone bench across from the fountain. Fenris took a seat on the lip of the fountain, fingers still idly hanging in the water. Sebastian was patient with him, and Fenris found it easy to talk with him. It helped that he knew Sebastian would keep the following conversation to himself until he reached the Maker's side. Fenris took comfort in this.  


“I have told you a little of my time under Danarius.” Fenris took a deep breath before continuing. “Suffice to say, there are many things I do not know of the world. Some things are easily learned. I understand currency. I am learning to read. I can write my name.” This was something Fenris took particular pride in. Fenris might not be his true name, but he could write it. He knew how to write it, and that knowledge made it seem more like his, not Danarius's. Danarius could not own it when he knew the symbols that shaped it too.  


“But there are other things I do not know.” Fenris pulled his hand out of the water and turned to fully meet Sebastian's gaze. The man looked concerned, and Fenris felt warmth in his heart, a warmth that was similar yet completely different to the feelings evoked when he thought of Anders. Sebastian was a friend, someone he could trust, and Fenris treasured that as dearly as he treasured Anders's sweet kisses and silly ramblings. He had no memories of friends before Hawke and their shared companions, and every moment was one he swore to remember. This time they couldn't be torn away from him.  


“Sebastian, you know what Danarius, what Hadriana, did to me all those years.” He said, starting with what was the more unpleasant aspect of his question.“You are one of the few I've ever told, and I appreciate that you listened to me.”  


“Fenris, what they did was a sin before the eyes of the Maker. You carry none of their disgrace.” Sebastian reassured his friend, and Fenris smiled.  


“I felt guilt, shame, once I realized what had occurred. I felt... they had taken everything, and all they left were scars and filth.” He shook his head when Sebastian opened his mouth to protest. “I am better now. I swear it. I am comfortable with my body.” Comfortable was the only word to describe what Fenris felt for his body. He did not think he could find it beautiful, or even pleasing, but it was a body that served its purpose, and for that Fenris was grateful. It worked as it should, which was a miracle in itself. He shouldn't ask for more.  


“That being said, I want to...” The words were hard to say. They stuck in his throat, and Fenris had not anticipated that difficulty when he first thought of asking Sebastian for advice. “What I mean is- fasta vass, there is no easy way to say this. Sebastian, I know nothing of love-making.”  


“Excuse me?” Sebastian could not have looked more shocked. He was gaping like a fish.  


“Do not make me repeat it.” For the first time Fenris was beginning to doubt his choice of person to broach this topic with. Hawke could not give him the direction he needed, but perhaps Aveline- no, not her either. Isabela would know, but Fenris could not endure her teasing. Anders... Fenris felt the tips of his ears heat up. Anders would perhaps be over-eager, and Fenris would not allow his inexperience taint their moments together. It had to be Sebastian.  


“No, I apologize, Fenris.” Sebastian's cheeks were bright red, which only served to make his eyes even more blue. “That was... it is an unusual statement, Fenris. It just caught me by surprise. But surely there are others you could speak to on this matter?”  


“No.” Fenris said dryly, and Sebastian grimaced, as if he reached the same conclusions Fenris had in that singular moment.  


“I suppose you are right.” Sebastian sighed. “And I commend you on your courage. Most would choose to fumble rather than ask for aid.” He glanced over at Fenris, his eyes suddenly narrowing, filled with curiosity. “Though I had not realized you were involved with someone, Fenris.”  


“I have no desire to hurt a future partner because of my pride.” Fenris replied, avoiding Sebastian's entirely too curious gaze. “Should anything happen with... with them, I want to know what to do.”  


“Very well then. I will do my best to educate you.” Sebastian sighed, shifting uneasily in the garden. “Luckily for us, none of the sisters go to the garden during the noonday heat. It's too much for their nerves. We will have privacy.”  


“Thank you, Sebastian.” Fenris was grateful. Sebastian propped his elbows on his knees and steepled his fingers together, staring over the tips of his fingers to look at Fenris. It was quiet in the garden, save for the trickle of water in the fountain and the sounds of birds. Behind that was the ever present murmur of the city beyond the Chantry walls.  


“I'm assuming you have had urges of a sexual nature.” Sebastian said, breaking the silence. And I'm going to venture as far to say that you know how to... deal with those urges.”  


“Yes.” Fenris muttered, heat rising in his cheeks. He felt a bit foolish admitting it, but he was a fully grown adult with needs that needed satisfying. There was nothing to be ashamed of. At least Sebastian hadn't asked what Fenris did to relieve himself, or worse, if he had someone in mind during those moments. Fenris found that he wanted to return Anders's touches, and the thought of touching Anders's skin, of hearing him sigh, of feeling his weight and presence, was so overwhelming he had to take himself in hand when he was alone.  


“That takes care of the basics.” Sebastian sounded relieved. “We can move to other topics, then. Is there someone in particular? I don't need to know who.” Sebastian hastily added. Fenris appreciated Sebastian's self-restraint. Anyone else would have pried, but Sebastian knew Fenris's limits. Fenris had to ignore Sebastian's too curious gaze. If he met it he might be tempted to tell Sebastian everything, and he wasn't ready to reveal his relationship with Anders yet. Just because Sebastian promised not to ask didn't mean he didn't want to know.  


“There is someone.” Fenris finally admitted, his voice low. “He's special.”  


“If they weren't special I'd be concerned.” Sebastian replied, a smile on his face. “It's good you've found someone. Do they know?”  


“Yes. They are supportive. We have had some intimate moments.” Fenris confessed. “But I feel that my hesitancy is holding us back.”  


“If he cares for you he will not force himself on you.” Sebastian's brow was furrowed, as if he didn't like what Fenris was telling him. “If he has forced you in any way-”  


“No! It's not- he would never-” Fenris stumbled over his protest, over his need to reassure his friend that Anders was good to him, that Anders was everything kind and foolishly sweet that Fenris couldn't remember having.  


“He has been nothing but gentle and patient with me. I only wish I could give him more.” Fenris concluded.  


“Fenris, you are a strong, loyal, smart, and attractive man. Anyone would be lucky to hold your affections.” Sebastian reassured him, and Fenris shook his head. Strong was a given, and he was loyal enough, he supposed. But Fenris could barely read, could only write his name in nearly illegible chicken scratch. And he was far too scarred to be considered handsome. Sebastian was, as always, over-generous with his praise.  


“He would no doubt agree with you, but it doesn't change how I feel.” Fenris stated. “Anything you can tell me will be helpful.”  


“Ah, yes. Well...” Sebastian's cheeks were turning pink and he shifted nervously on the seat. “I did promise. And you can't go to Isabela, she'll never let it go.” Fenris knew Sebastian was uncomfortable, but he knew his friend would push through his discomfort anyways.  


“I have questions, if that helps.” Fenris said quietly, hoping that his questions would help guide the conversations.  


“Yes, that would be best.” Sebastian sounded relieved. “What do you wish to know?”  


“What do I need if I plan to have sex?” Fenris asked. “What preparations should I make?”  


“That's a complicated question, Fenris.” Sebastian sighed, shaking his head. “Before I came to the Chantry, I was... wild. But even then, I have little experience with men, and my partners were looking for sex, not romance. I would not encourage you to behave as I did when I was young. It isn't healthy.”  


“I am only asking for advice, Sebastian.” Fenris stated calmly. “I'm not about to offer myself to The Rose.”  


“Are you asking me how to seduce your partner, or is it something else entirely?” Sebastian questioned, a frown on his lips.  


“No, he's foolishly attached to me.” Fenris smiled, thinking of Anders's passionate speeches every time Fenris tried to dissect why Anders was so attached to him. 

“I do not claim to understand why, but he continues to tell me that he cares for me. I am assured of his affections.”  


“If that's the case, make sure that he's comfortable, that you're comfortable, and be patient. Being nervous is natural, Fenris, especially if you are with someone you care for. The nerves leave you over time, the more you... engage in certain... behaviors.” Sebastian replied. It was a start, Fenris thought. He would simply have to warm Sebastian up to the subject if he wanted to learn anything.  


“Yes, but how do I make him comfortable? It is outside of my experience.” Fenris wondered if he sounded as frustrated as he felt. Sebastian had winced at his words. “I apologize. This is not an easy topic to discuss.”  


“No, Fenris. Don't apologize. As to your question...” Sebastian took a deep breath, as if mentally fortifying himself before a great battle. Fenris wondered for the first time if Sebastian's vow of chastity was a challenge for him to uphold. Sebastian's claims of wildness and youthful indiscretions made it it clear that he had enjoyed life's pleasures fully. Perhaps he had his own struggles to overcome, no matter how polished and uninterested he seemed.  


“It depends on the role you plan to take.” Sebastian said quietly after peering over his shoulder, as if checking for eavesdroppers. “If you wish to be dominant and... well, penetrate your partner, be certain to prepare them. If you wish to receive, be sure to be prepared.”  


“Preparation.” Fenris stated flatly. “Right.” What preparation? It had to be something to do with making sex a pleasant experience, but Fenris hadn't the foggiest idea what Sebastian meant by preparation. He would have to pay careful attention.  


“Oils, or even healing salves, will work best.” Sebastian fumbled a bit over the word salves, stuttering slightly before recovering and maintaining a serious expression like a dignified scholar giving a lecture. “Use as much as you need to stretch your partner's entrance-”  


“You can say arse, Sebastian. Even I know that much.” Fenris said. Sebastian's proper terms for intercourse were terribly clinical, but he found it somewhat amusing.  


“Entrance.” Sebastian emphasized the word again, his accent making the word sound sharper than it should. “Consider it foreplay. Once stretched you should, ah, be sure to use plenty of... of slick,” He winced at the word, “On your-”  


“Cock, Sebastian.” Fenris knew he was grinning now, a laugh burbling up in his chest as Sebastian glared before breaking into hysterical laughter. Fenris joined him, and their shared laughter filled the courtyard, echoing off the stone and mortar of the Chantry.  


“Maker's Breath, Fenris! Tis hard enough already without you being vulgar about it!” Sebastian finally said, wiping his eyes. “If you can tease me about sex then your partner has been good for you.”  


“Yes.” Fenris agreed. “He has been. Though I still have questions.”  


“Such as?”  


“There are differences between elves and men.” Fenris said, and he took pride in the fact that his voice did not tremble. “If I were to initiate sex with my partner, what should I be aware of?”  


“Continue to talk to him. Don't be afraid to ask questions while you're with him.” Sebastian smiled then, and leaned forward to clasp Fenris's shoulder in a friendly, almost brotherly gesture. “Preparation is key. Perhaps... well, you will have to discuss some things with Anders-”  


“What?” Fenris asked, his voice sharp. How did Sebastian guess he was with Anders? Had he been too obvious? He hoped his friend would be discreet, but if Sebastian already knew, he and Anders would have to say something to the others.  


“He's a healer, Fenris. He will perform check-ups, make sure you are healthy and ensure that you can safely have a sexual relationship with your partner. Safety is important, and I was under the impression you two were no longer fighting as you once did.” Sebastian raised an eyebrow, a stern expression on his face as if he were a disapproving father. “You two are getting on, right?”  


“Ah, yes. Yes, of course, Sebastian.” Fenris quickly agreed, relieved that Sebastian had not caught on to his relationship with Anders. At least, not yet. But he would eventually, Fenris realized in a sobering moment of clarity. All of their companions would. It wasn't something they could keep secret forever.  


“Personally I think you and our mage friend can get right on with a lot less clothing.” A voice practically purred from across the courtyard. Isabela dropped down from over a wall and casually strode over. “Good afternoon, boys.”  


“Isabela!” Sebastian leapt up to his feet. “How- when did you-”  


“Oh, I've been here for a while now, ever since you instructed Fenris on dominance.” She dragged out that last word, and Fenris's embarrassment over Isabela's spying was mitigated when he took in the bright red color in Sebastian's face. “So, Fenris, planning to be dominant with your special someone?”  


“That is my business, Isabela.” Fenris replied.  


“Hmmmm, and what a delicious business that'll be.” Isabela hummed.  


“Isabela, this is a sacred space!” Sebastian hissed out. “What if someone overhears you?”  


“That didn't stop you from telling Fenris all about sex.” Isabela said casually. “Now, I'd love to hear your thoughts of foreplay, Sebastian. Do you have time for a confessional? I might need some one on one time with a lay brother to work through all my sins- oh, but that will have to wait until later. Hawke asked me to come fetch you both for a meeting at her mansion, something about the Bone Pit and dragons? It wasn't very clear.”  


“We'll be there.” Fenris promised. Sebastian agreed, his face flushed and words stuttered. Isabela cheerfully climbed back over the wall, turned to give them a jaunty wave, and was gone.  


“If you need more advice, my door is always open.” Sebastian said once his color returned to normal. “I'll do my best to help you, despite Isabela's teasing.”  


“Thank you, Sebastian. I believe you answered my questions fully.” Fenris replied. Sebastian was helpful, but he was too easily embarrassed by the topic and Fenris had no desire to push him any further today. Perhaps, he thought as they re-entered the Chantry, it would be best to simply ask Anders. Then he would gain knowledge of carnal acts and Anders's preferences all in one conversation. He could endure the humiliation if Anders guided him through it. Feeling a bit cheered by the prospect, Fenris and Sebastian made their way through Hightown to Hawke's estate.

 

“So, have a nice time with Sebastian?” Anders asked that evening as they sat in front of the fire in Fenris's room. Fenris had his wine, and Anders had somehow convinced Justice that a few sips would not destroy them both. They passed a bottle of Nevarran red between them as they spoke of their day. Anders had, in fact, battled a small dragon, healed several burns, and declared that the Bone Pit was a festering pile of Bronto shit that he refused to visit again. Fenris told him he had spoken with Sebastian.  


“I asked him about sex. It was not as informative as I would have liked.” Fenris replied drily.  


“You did what?!” Anders nearly spat out the wine in his mouth, but swallowed it before laughing. Fenris rather enjoyed Anders's laugh, a sound that came deep from within his chest. He laughed with his whole body, an infectious noise that did not fail to bring a smile to Fenris's face.  


“Sebastian had trouble with explaining the particulars of preparation.” Fenris smirked and took the bottle hanging limply from Anders's hand.  


“You asked Holy Crotch about sex.” Anders wheezed out, his laughter dying down.  


“I had to ask someone.” Fenris reasoned. “And armor choices aside, Sebastian is a friend.”  


“You could just ask me.” Anders said, smiling and leaning over to place his hand on Fenris's knee. “I'd be happy to teach you, Fenris. You know that, right?”  


“I...” Fenris frowned slightly, determined to give Anders a proper explanation for his decision to speak with Sebastian. “I wanted to please you, I suppose. Give you something in return for everything you have given me.” Anders's face softened, his brown eyes filled with affection and warmth.  


“Oh, love.” He sighed, and opened his arms in a welcoming gesture. “Come here?” Fenris set the bottle on the floor and crawled into Anders's lap, having recently acclimated to his need for physical reassurance and his desire to be held. Anders wrapped his arms around him and placed his chin on the top of Fenris's head.  


“You've given me so much already, Fenris.” Anders murmured into Fenris's hair. “You listen to me, talk to me, and don't think I haven't noticed you standing guard at the clinic. But if Sebastian's advice helped, then I'm happy for you.”  


“He said anyone would be lucky to have me.” Fenris confessed, tilting his head back to meet Anders's eyes.  


“That's one thing we agree on, then. I consider myself a very lucky man.” Anders smiled down at him, and Fenris's ears felt warm, flushed from the complimentary tone in Anders's voice.  


“I still find it confusing.” Fenris stated, twisting himself around in Anders's lap so he could face the man. “I had been nothing but cold to you, why would you find me at all attractive or worthy of your regard?”  


“Fenris, I think I've told you this story at least twenty times.” Anders said, ever good natured, reaching out to hold Fenris's hands in his own. “But if you really want me to say it again-”  


“I would appreciate it.” Fenris murmured, a smile forming on his lips as he said the words.  


“You just want me to talk about your eyes again, don't you?” Anders teased, but Fenris knew he didn't truly mind. He pulled Fenris closer, and Fenris let him manipulate his limbs until he was settled comfortably with his head in Anders's lap, Anders's fingers playing through the rough strands of his hair.  


“I'm waiting, mage.” Fenris prompted as the silence grew between them.  


“So demanding!” Anders scolded playfully before pensively gazing into the fire. When he spoke next, his voice took on the cadence of a practiced story teller. Fenris closed his eyes as Anders began to tell his story.  


“Once upon a time, there was a dashing apostate...”

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to everyone who has read, left kudos, bookmarked, and/or left comments! It means a lot, so thank you all!
> 
> And the last line is a bit of a reference to the writer DashingApostate, whose works finally pushed me to write something for Fenders.


End file.
